We all know that perfect couple. The couple that is seemingly (almost) always happy, that (almost) always gets along, that adores each other, and are perfect complements to each other.
We look at them and think to ourselves, “how on earth are they so great together? What is their secret?” Well, we have it, and we’d like to fill you in. Are you ready?
Drum roll, please…
They’re not perfect (gasp!) AND they do have their moments, moments that we all have: arguments, frustrations, annoyances and all. But what healthy couples have and implement are ingredients that together complete the recipe of a healthy relationship.
These ingredients come in the form of habits, and they’re crucial to creating and maintaining a healthy relationship. Having these regular and repetitive behaviors are the keys to sustaining a healthy relationship.
There are so many healthy habits you can adopt in your relationship to move it from surviving to thriving. We’d like to highlight a few that you can start applying to your day today as soon as you finish reading this.
Recognize That “Me” Time Is Just As Important As “We” Time
Your relationship is part of your identity, but it isn’t your identity. We know we like to call our partners our “other half” but the truth is you are whole on your own. You were your own whole person before you met your partner, and that’s still true.
You have your own interests, hobbies, and passions, and it’s important for you to continue to explore them independently. Have some separate friends, take a trip somewhere by yourself, or go to a yoga class and bring one mat. Just because you’re sharing your life with someone doesn’t mean there’s any less of your life. Keep living it.
Remember what made you you, because that is what drew your partner to you in the first place, and that is what drew you to them.
Speak Their Love Language
Speak their what language? Their love language.
Author Gary Chapman wrote a great book a while back theorizing that there are five love languages through which people express and experience love: acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch.
It’s important to consider together how you feel most loved and how your partner feels most loved, and on the flip side of that coin, how you like to express your love and how your partner does. When it comes to healthy relationship habits, speaking in your partner’s love language on a daily basis will ensure that the love continues to flow.
If your partner’s love language is an act of service, get him a coffee before work instead of telling him how great he is. If your love language is quality time, let your partner know that physical touch isn’t the way to your heart. If you become fluent in each other’s love languages, you’re on the right track.
Grand romantic gestures are great. Who doesn’t love them? But occasional grand gestures aren’t going to make your relationship long-lasting. Do you know what will? The little gestures.
Ironically, the small gestures are what make the biggest difference. It’s really all in the details, and a key detail is to check in. No, we don’t mean asking if they picked up the dry cleaning or if the grocery delivery arrived. We mean sending a message that they’re in your thoughts.
“Hey, just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you” “How is your day going?” “I’m looking forward to seeing you later, hope you’re having a great day”
When life gets hectic, it’s easy to activate autopilot and start going through the motions rather than being present with each other. Make it a point to regularly check in with each other, whether it’s meeting for a 20-minute coffee or simply sending a text asking how their day is going. One of the best feelings is knowing that someone thought of you. Make it a habit to give your partner that feeling.
These are only a few habits that will help get your relationship to optimal health. Start implementing them in your relationship, and check back here for more soon!