Written by: The Circles Team

October 15, 2020

Many people talk about building resilience or grit, but what exactly does it mean? How can we develop resilience, especially when we’re going through a hard time? Though it may seem like a difficult, abstract thing to do, there are certain beliefs and mindsets we can put into play and practice every day to help ourselves feel better and build resilience.

What does resilience mean?

The theory of resilience holds that adversity occurs to all of us, but what is important is how we deal with it. Strength can help us deal with difficulties or misfortune. It can have different meanings across cultures and societies, and individuals can be more resilient at specific points in their life than others.

Resilience is closely related to positive psychology, which says that specific characteristics can help us deal positively with challenges in our lives. It has been defined as “the process of adapting well” in the face of adversity or significant sources of stress, such as family and relationship problems, health issues, or financial stress.

Can we learn resilience?

How can we transform an idea into something we can implement in our daily lives? The good news is that it’s been found that resilience can be built – it’s not something we either have or don’t have. It’s something we can practice every day, just like we learned how to ride a bike, how to be a good friend, and what works best for taking care of ourselves. It’s something we can work on and develop, just like building up our muscle strength.

So, the answer is yes, we can.

5 Tips to becoming more resilient

There are many ways to build resilience. By understanding how our thoughts and beliefs affect our feelings and experiences, we can begin to recognize our own role in how we react to things. And we can start becoming more resilient and bouncing back from challenges.

-** Be aware of personalization.** This refers to holding ourselves accountable for all the bad things that happen, blaming ourselves, and saying that it’s our fault. This can be an automatic response sometimes. Notice it. Know that it’s not always the case, and we can begin to recognize there are other possible reactions.

Notice pervasiveness. Pervasiveness is the belief that a negative situation can spread across all areas of our life. Acknowledge that bad feelings don’t impact every aspect of our lives, or ourselves.
Recognize things are not permanent. A feeling of permanence, especially as it relates to bad events, can prevent us from improving our situation. It can overwhelm us and make it seem that we can’t go on. Change is an ever-present part of life. Things change, situations change, and we change, too. It’s a natural part of life.
Share our emotions. Sharing emotions, both positive and negative feelings, can help us be open and honest about how we’re doing. It helps with our communication processes and can not only bring relief through expressing ourselves but also help us clarify our situations and start working on feeling better. -** Build connections**. By purposefully connecting with others, we know that we’re not alone in dealing with our situation. We can ask for help, gain other perspectives, check in with others about how we’re doing, and feel less alone. This helps us build strength and support for dealing with things and moving forward.
Resilience isn’t about ignoring the bad things in life or pretending they don’t matter. It’s about reflecting upon ourselves and our situations and creating a positive mindset to help ourselves feel better. We can all practice resilience every day.