Introduction
If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you already know how isolating it can feel. You might have even gone to friends and family to support, who either didn’t believe you, or minimized your experience. You might be questioning yourself and wondering if it was really that bad. If you’re here, it probably was. The people in our life may care about us, but they don’t always get it. People that haven’t experienced this type of abuse most likely can’t give you the support you need. That’s where support groups come in.
Why Joining a Narcissistic Abuse Support Group Is Important
Joining a support group catered to narcissistic abuse gives you a chance to finally connect with people who understand. Through this connection you can begin to process what happened, learn how to protect yourself and rebuild your confidence and self-worth. A support group can help you confirm (maybe for the first time) that what you went through was real—and what’s more–that it wasn’t your fault. It’s also a great place to learn coping strategies. Whether it’s setting boundaries, recognizing manipulation, or rebuilding self-esteem, members in the group often share their journeys through healing, giving others a chance to learn from them. And perhaps most importantly, it reminds you that you’re not alone. Hearing from others who have been through similar struggles can be a huge relief, especially when you’ve felt isolated for so long.
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How to Find Online Support Groups for Narcissistic Abuse
If you’re feeling overwhelmed in your search for support, I don’t blame you. There are tons of support groups out there, and how do you know which ones will actually help? We’ll talk more about what to look for in a group later, but for now, the first step is knowing where to look.
A basic Google search can be a good starting point. Try phrases like “narcissistic abuse support group online” or “narcissistic abuse survivor forum.” But don’t stop there. Look for groups recommended by mental health organizations, such as:
- Psychology Today, which has an online directory for support groups.
- American Psychological Association to find a psychologist.
- American Psychiatric Association to find a psychiatrist.
- Domestic violence organizations like the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which sometimes provide links to virtual communities.
- Social media platforms, including Facebook groups and Reddit forums, though these require extra caution (more on that later).
What to Look for in an Online Support Group
As you might expect, not every online group is going to be a good fit for you. Some can actually make things worse by fueling negativity or unhealthy mindsets. When deciding if a group is right for you, here are a few things to consider:
1. Moderation and Safety
A support group that is well run will always have trained moderators who help to keep discussions respectful and productive. Without appropriate moderation, groups can spiral into victim-blaming, misinformation, or even predatory behavior. If a group allows personal attacks, dismisses others’ experiences, or pushes extreme views – ding, ding ding – red flag! Your alarm bells should be going off.
2. A Focus on Healing, Not Just Venting
It’s normal to be angry after narcissistic abuse. But if a group only focuses on resentment and revenge rather than growth and healing, it might not be the healthiest space. The best groups provide support while also encouraging recovery, self-care, and boundary-setting. Remember, these things can exist together, and in a good group we make space for both.
3. Clear Boundaries and Confidentiality
Online support groups should prioritize privacy. Many require membership approval to keep discussions safe from trolls or abusers. Groups that openly display member discussions or have no clear privacy guidelines can be risky.
How to Get the Most Out of Your Online Support Group
Finding the right group is just the first step. Making it work for you is all about intention. Support groups are much like therapy – anyone can go, but you don’t get anything out of it unless you’re thoughtful with what you put into it. Here’s are some ways you can engage in these groups to best encourage your healing:
- Take your time. You don’t have to share right away. Reading other members’ experiences first can help you ease in.
- Be mindful of emotional triggers. Some stories may bring up painful memories. If something is overwhelming, step back and take care of yourself.
- Set boundaries for yourself. If a group starts feeling draining rather than helpful, it’s okay to leave and try another one.
- Participate in a way that feels right. Whether you’re asking for advice, offering support to others, or just listening, there’s no “right” way to be part of a support group.
Can I get professional advice in an online support group?
Some groups are peer-led, which means members share experiences rather than giving professional advice. It’s important to remember that groups on social media are not run by professionals. Other groups, like Circles, do have therapists or coaches who provide general guidance, but just remember, this isn’t therapy, so they can’t offer personalized treatment.
Are online support groups confidential?
It depends on the group. Well-moderated spaces usually require approval to join and have strict privacy rules. But online spaces are never completely risk-free, so be cautious about sharing identifying details.
Do online support groups provide resources for healing?
It depends, but some do! If that’s what you’re looking for, look for groups that share reading materials, therapy recommendations, or guided exercises for trauma recovery. Some may even host live discussions or Q&A sessions with professionals.
How do I know if an online support group is right for me?
The right group should feel supportive, not stressful. If you leave feeling more anxious, angry, or hopeless, it might not be the best fit. A good support group helps you feel understood, validated, and encouraged to heal. I do recommend people try more than one session, since each session may be different. Think about it – support groups are all about the shares of the members, which can look different each session.
Meet Circles Online Support Groups
If you’re looking for a structured, supportive community, Circles offers a safe place for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Unlike unmoderated forums, Circles groups are led by trained facilitators like myself, who ensure discussions stay productive and healing-focused. Members can share their experiences, learn from others, and receive guidance on coping strategies—all in a private, judgment-free environment.
Final Thoughts
Recovering from narcissistic abuse isn’t easy, but finding a supportive community can make a world of difference. The right group won’t just help you process the past—it will help you move toward a healthier, more empowered future.
