Reclaiming Self Worth
We may experience feelings of being alone, unwanted, and dejected after ending a toxic relationship. The pain and memories that remain can change the way you see yourself. I want to talk about something really close to my heart – self-worth. A lot of people may identify with this subject, and from my experience working as a social worker, it’s critical to reclaim this part of oneself. Let’s talk about it. Let’s start by breaking down the idea of self-worth. In a nutshell, self-worth is the belief that you are valuable and deserving of good things in life. It’s about accepting your value despite what other people may think or say. It seems easy enough, doesn’t it? But after a narcissistic relationship, it can feel like a mountain to climb.
What is Self-Worth?
Let’s define what self-worth is first. In simple terms, self-worth is the belief that you are worthwhile and deserving of good things in life. It’s about realizing your worth, no matter what people may say or think about you. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? However, this may seem like an uphill battle following a narcissistic relationship.
The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on Self-Worth
You suffer a great deal when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Feeling inferior is a skill that narcissists excel in. Their unceasing criticism, deceit, and emotional abuse gradually undermine your self-esteem. Your wants become unimportant, you start to feel inadequate, and you’re fortunate if someone will put up with you. This can eventually make you feel less valuable than you are.
The Journey to Rebuild Self-Worth
After something as traumatic as this, it’s not simple, but it is definitely possible to rebuild your self-worth. Here are some steps that can help you on this journey:
The first step is acknowledging what you’ve been through, it’s okay to admit that the relationship hurt you deeply. Recognize that the narcissist’s behavior was about their issues and not about your worth. This is an important distinction that helps separate their actions from your value.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself some compassion. This might sound cliché, but self-compassion is a powerful tool. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend going through a tough time. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel broken and that healing takes time.
Seek out friends, family, or support groups, like Circles, who understand what you’ve been through and can offer genuine support. Positive, supportive relationships are crucial in rebuilding your self-worth. These people can help remind you of your strengths and value when you’re struggling to see it yourself.
Learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries is key to not only building your self-worth but also protecting your mental well-being. This means recognizing and asserting your needs and limits in all areas of your life. Boundaries help protect your self-worth and prevent others from taking advantage of you.
Take time to do things that make you feel good about yourself. This could be anything from engaging in hobbies, exercising, meditating, or simply taking a relaxing bath. Self-care is about nurturing yourself and reinforcing the idea that you deserve care and kindness.
Positive affirmations can be a game-changer in rebuilding self-worth. These are simple, positive statements you repeat to yourself, like “I am worthy of love and respect” or “I am enough just as I am.” They might feel strange or untrue at first, but over time, they can help reshape your self-perception.
A client I have been working with had been in a long-term relationship with a narcissist. When she first came to me, her self-worth was shattered. She believed all the negative things her ex had drilled into her head. In order to reshape her thinking, we focused on recognizing her strengths and achievements, no matter how small. Slowly, she started to see herself differently. She began to reclaim her hobbies, reconnect with supportive friends, and set boundaries. It was a tough journey, but watching her transformation was incredibly inspiring. She learned to value herself again, proving that it’s possible to rebuild self-worth after such an ordeal.
Moving Forward
Remember, rebuilding self-worth is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of self-love. Don’t rush the process; give yourself grace and celebrate the small victories along the way. You’ve been through a lot, and you deserve to feel good about yourself again.
You’re not alone in this. Reach out for support, practice self-compassion, and remind yourself daily of your inherent worth. Your value doesn’t depend on anyone else’s opinion. It comes from within you. You are worthy, you are enough, and you deserve to see yourself that way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it brings you some comfort and encouragement. Remember, you have the strength to reclaim your self-worth and live a life filled with respect, love, and confidence. Keep going – you’ve got this.
