Reclaiming Self Worth
We may experience feelings of being alone, unwanted, and dejected after ending a toxic relationship. The pain and memories that remain can change the way you see yourself. I want to talk about something really close to my heart – self-worth after narcissistic abuse. A lot of people may identify with this subject, and from my experience working as a social worker, it’s critical to reclaim this part of oneself. Let’s talk about it. Let’s start by breaking down the idea of self-worth. In a nutshell, self-worth is the belief that you are valuable and deserving of good things in life. It’s about accepting your value despite what other people may think or say. It seems easy enough, doesn’t it? But after narcissistic abuse, it can feel like a mountain to climb.
What is Self-Worth?
Let’s define what self-worth is first. In simple terms, self-worth is the belief that you are worthwhile and deserving of good things in life. It’s about realizing your worth, no matter what people may say or think about you. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? However, this may seem like an uphill battle following narcissistic abuse.
The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on Self-Worth
You suffer a great deal when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Feeling inferior is a skill that narcissists excel in. Their unceasing criticism, deceit, and emotional abuse gradually undermine your self-esteem. Your wants become unimportant, you start to feel inadequate, and you’re fortunate if someone will put up with you. This can eventually make you feel less valuable than you are.
The Journey to Rebuild Self-Worth
Rebuilding self-worth after narcissistic abuse is not a simple process, but it is absolutely possible. Breaking it down into smaller, actionable steps can make the journey feel more manageable.
- Acknowledge Your Experience
The first step is acknowledging what you’ve been through. It’s okay to admit that the relationship hurt you deeply. Recognize that the narcissist’s behavior was about their issues and not about your worth. This is a crucial distinction that helps separate their actions from your value. - Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself and offer yourself the same compassion you would give to a friend. Self-compassion is a powerful tool in healing. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel broken and that healing takes time. Embrace your emotions without judgment. - Build a Supportive Network
Surround yourself with friends, family, or support groups like Circles, where others understand what you’ve been through. Positive relationships are essential to rebuilding your self-worth. These supportive connections can help reinforce your strengths and value when you’re struggling to see them yourself. - Set Healthy Boundaries
Learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries is vital. Boundaries protect your mental well-being and self-worth by allowing you to assert your needs and limits. They act as a shield against those who might take advantage of your kindness. - Engage in Self-Care Activities
Prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s engaging in hobbies, exercising, meditating, or simply taking a relaxing bath, self-care is about nurturing yourself and reinforcing the idea that you deserve care and kindness. - Use Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations can be transformative. Simple statements like “I am worthy of love and respect” or “I am enough just as I am” can help reshape your self-perception over time. While they may feel uncomfortable at first, persistence can lead to a profound change in how you see yourself.
A Real-Life Example: Rebuilding After Narcissistic Abuse
A client I worked with had been in a long-term relationship with a narcissist. When she first came to me, her self-worth was shattered. She believed all the negative things her ex had drilled into her head. Through recognizing her strengths and achievements—no matter how small—she began to see herself differently. She reclaimed her hobbies, reconnected with supportive friends, and established firm boundaries. Her journey was challenging, but her transformation was inspiring. She learned to value herself again, proving that it’s possible to rebuild self-worth after such an ordeal.
Moving Forward
Remember, rebuilding self-worth is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of self-love. Don’t rush the process; give yourself grace and celebrate the small victories along the way. You’ve been through a lot, and you deserve to feel good about yourself again.
You’re not alone in this. Reach out for support, practice self-compassion, and remind yourself daily of your inherent worth. Your value doesn’t depend on anyone else’s opinion. It comes from within you. You are worthy, you are enough, and you deserve to see yourself that way.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it brings you some comfort and encouragement. Remember, you have the strength to reclaim your self-worth and live a life filled with respect, love, and confidence. Keep going – you’ve got this.
Finding Support with Circles
Rediscovering your self-worth after narcissistic abuse is a challenging but transformative journey. At Circles, we provide a safe and supportive space where you can connect with others who understand your experiences. Our expert-led support groups offer guidance, validation, and practical tools to help you rebuild your confidence and sense of self. You don’t have to go through this healing process alone—Circles is here to support you every step of the way, empowering you to embrace a healthier, more fulfilling life.
